For those we can yet save
An introduction to FFXIV triage. Inspired by my cohealer in Shinryu with 85% overheal and 0 DPS. Given that premise, less angry than you might expect.
Cash of Exile
Spending real money in virtual Australia. As you might expect, all the prices are upside down and there are spiders.
Clemency is a microaggression
An open letter to paladins everywhere. It took me less time to write this than to finish the Expert roulette that inspired it.
Why Icons has offline input lag
Okay, listen. In retrospect, this article really did not fucking age well, but I stand by it anyway. Oh well. The cycle repeats, new studio does everything wrong and one thing right, press F, etc etc
Plus On Whiff
The story of the netplay-only safejump. Whatever you think that sequence of words means, you're wrong.
Swordcraft is for idiots
A digital representation of human suffering. Written while unreasonably ill, because you are closest to the true nature of Swordcraft while you're dying.
Getting Over Yourself
Bennett Foddy's short, interminable climb. If you're clicking on this article to comment "git gud," fuck off, there's no comment section anyway.
Fuck Gyazo
Why I hate your screenshot uploader. WARNING: disproportionately acidic rant about things that no one else really gives a shit about.
Is it real?
A no-bullshit alternative to review scores. Yes, this is serious.
Not Reviews
Disorganized thoughts about disorganized vidya. This exists because I didn't want to write four articles that were half a paragraph long.
Brook converters: Not just for consoles
Using an Xbox adapter for a PS4 controller on PC...? This is the type of shit that I have to deal with. Nobody knows how to fucking handle DirectInput controllers.
Quake Champions Beta: Day 1
So I'm gonna be honest with you. Right now I'm updating all of the excerpts on my blog while I make layout changes, and when I read the original blurb for this article, my hand instantly made contact with my forehead. Unfortunately, it was the hand with the recently-broken wrist. Keep that in mind.
Demon Phaleg, Lord Of Jank
EP4's final boss is sort of a disaster. Alternate title: How I learned to stop worrying and love Charge Parrying
Troubleshooting "Lag" in OBS Studio
The layman's guide to reading logs. I guess this is the single time in my life where I managed to suppress the "why are you writing something for people who can't read" gag reflex.
UNIEL PC: Day 1
Two years late? Right on schedule. A first look at French Bread's latest, now that I can finally fucking play it.