Just shut up. Just shut the hell up, holy shit
Rhythm games can take many different approaches to rating players; Arcaea chose one of the worst I've seen in a while. osu!mania, eat your heart out
A lot of unexpectedly decent games, a lot of unsurprisingly horrible ones
One step closer to going the fuck back to IRC
Not that anyone should be surprised
Hosting a moderately successful netgame
Fuck the stock UI, let's create a monster
25 days of garbage fighting games, for the third year running. Warning: low overhead.
Arcaea's payment model is pretty fair, but sometimes very slightly confusing. Here's what you're getting into.
This is not a request. You'll understand later. (These cookies are half the reason anyone tolerates me in their vicinity.)
My favorite thing to happen in 2018. May you attain enlightenment.
And other tales from my system tray. May contain trace amounts of cult recruitment material.
For those we can yet save. Inspired by my cohealer in Shinryu with 85% overheal and 0 DPS. Given that premise, less angry than you might expect.
Spending real money in virtual Australia. As you might expect, all the prices are upside down and there are spiders.
Hosting social media for actual humans. Cute robot girls also welcome.
14 days of handheld trash fires. LET'S GO TO DA BEECH
An open letter to paladins everywhere. It took me less time to write this than to finish the Expert roulette that inspired it.
Okay, listen. In retrospect, this article really did not fucking age well, but I stand by it anyway. Oh well. The cycle repeats, new studio does everything wrong and one thing right, press F, etc etc
This probably should have served as a warning sign.
Captain Lecia's final stand. The end of an era.
25 days of fucked-up fighting games, part the fourth. This is the end.
The story of the netplay-only safejump. Whatever you think that sequence of words means, you're wrong.
25 days of fucked-up fighting games, part the third. In which Konami crushes my dreams into dust.
Yet another incomprehensible SEGA port. Oh well, at least it's not Capcom
25 days of fucked-up fighting games, part the second. In which I am tricked and betrayed.
I fuck it up so you don't have to
25 days of fucked-up fighting games, part the first. Featuring tinnitus.
A digital representation of human suffering. Written while unreasonably ill, because you are closest to the true nature of Swordcraft while you're dying.
FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, IDIOT
Bennett Foddy's short, interminable climb. If you're clicking on this article to comment "git gud," fuck off, there's no comment section anyway.
How YouTube's insane robot ouroboros ruined my weekend. Alternate title: Why I Now Own An External Hard Drive
Exploring the best bad Swordcraft deck. Don't play this.
Why I hate your screenshot uploader. WARNING: disproportionately acidic rant about things that no one else really gives a shit about.
SEGA's groundbreaking business strategy, "don't fuck it up"
Apparently there might be a video game in here. Someone should probably tell Bethesda about that.
A no-bullshit alternative to review scores. Yes, this is serious.
Disorganized thoughts about disorganized vidya. This exists because I didn't want to write four articles that were half a paragraph long.
Using an Xbox adapter for a PS4 controller on PC...? This is the type of shit that I have to deal with. Nobody knows how to fucking handle DirectInput controllers.
So I'm gonna be honest with you. Right now I'm updating all of the excerpts on my blog while I make layout changes, and when I read the original blurb for this article, my hand instantly made contact with my forehead. Unfortunately, it was the hand with the recently-broken wrist. Keep that in mind.
EP4's final boss is sort of a disaster. Alternate title: How I learned to stop worrying and love Charge Parrying
Over End actually isn't that great. A deep dive into the mechanics of PSO2's biggest, slowest meme.
The layman's guide to reading logs. I guess this is the single time in my life where I managed to suppress the "why are you writing something for people who can't read" gag reflex.
Meet the new blog, same as the old blog
An absolute clusterfuck, but an amusing one. TL;DR pick Sword
I mean I guess
Four-word horror story: "this MMO uses GameGuard." Alternate title: why SEGA really doesn't care about you or your dickwaving.
Two years late? Right on schedule. A first look at French Bread's latest, now that I can finally fucking play it.